it's the time...

The time has come for the blogging to start again. It's been so long that it feels like a foreign process; to write, to compose, to share and to be transparent all seem like such a reach after going into a mode of privacy for so long. There is so much to share. A move, a wedding, a pregnancy, a baby, a marriage and a life. I'll spend the next week or so catching up and sharing about each event and then we'll start with the current goings on... the daily dazzling beautiful organized chaos that is our life. I think I'm ready....

In the meantime you can enjoy baby pictures!

thank you for knowing i'm grateful

i love my life. i don't think i say that enough. i truly do love. my. life.

i have so many great things - my family (who will all be under ONE roof for thanksgiving), great friends - the kind that don't even care that this break up has completely thrown me for a loop and understand that i have to keep up at school and with emma as if the boy didn't pull out my heart and stomp on it so they are kind enough to listen in the evenings, my daughter emma who continually is a joy to be around - she's the kind of kid that just says hilarious stuff and is silly at all the right times but so amazingly intelligent and beautiful.

i'm fortunate. i know i'm fortunate. and sometimes i don't express that enough here. i say the things i don't say elsewhere... it's my outlet. it's my time to vent or to talk about how i'm feeling about the things that you don't say at the dinner table or to the cashier at the grocery store that asks "how are you today?" and so i appreciate that you read and understand the perspective and love me even though lately all i want to do is talk about how breaking up sucks.

i promise that if you can hold on this will get better. i'm stronger everyday. i understand more everyday that this relationship ending is actually a really really good thing. and along the way i'm trying to learn about myself and about the world... thanks for being along for the ride.

san diego's southern cross

'cause the truth you might be runnin' from is so small
but it's as big as the promise, the promise of a comin' day
so i'm sailin' for tomorrow, my dreams are a dyin'.....
think about how many times i have fallin'
spirits are using me, larger voices callin'...
....

crosby stills and nash - southern cross





i have learned many things from this past weekend in san diego. i have learned about myself and about what it means to be alive and in this life. i have learned more about family and friendship and about the bonds that hold us together and move us apart than i ever knew was possible. i learned what it means... to love someone so much that the love will endure beyond what we understand. i don't mean romantic love. i mean the love of a family and i mean what happens to the love and the bond when we cannot define it by life. and in some ways i think i mean a romantic love... a romance between a man who is the best father i know and the strongest woman i've ever met who chose to stand beside him. the woman who will continue in his place to be the solid rock and flexible ties that holds a family together in a house with a garden that feels so much like home that i feel lost now that i am not there.

i have not written about this, although it has been going on for quite awhile. i wanted to give privacy to those who needed it and not speak about a future that had not become definite. i still was hoping (and in my heart am still hoping and praying) that the one thing i was most afraid would not come to pass. i write about it now because this is the piece that i can give... my words and my perspective as a salve or an outlet for how much my heart hurts.... unfortunately i am probably the only one who can or will be helped by my words that seem to be unable to express fully what my heart feels like.

my best friend's dad is dying. i don't mean in the abstract way in which this life is not permanent and we are all slowly dying by a series of breaths. i mean in the concrete way in which he will not be living in a set amount of time. i mean that he, for all of his strength and his fight and his power has come up against cancer and it is killing him in small increments. in small enough increments that we still hope that somehow it will turn out differently but big enough increments to rip that hope and your silly human heart to shreds.

it seems that when i think about it logically that it cannot possibly make sense. you would have to know him... but it's not possible. and that cannot possibly be true. it's too awful and it's too big and it's too much and it's not fair.

and i love him. like a father, a mentor and a hero. i love him because of a thousand things but mostly because he is simply him. i love him even more because he gave me my best friend. she has been in my life for 29 years and she is the other half of me. some days it seems she is the better part and the better half.

and some days, like today, my grief seems so big that my heart seems to hurt from growing large enough to hold onto it. the grief is senseless and frightening and beyond what i can manage with human feelings and human words. the grief feels so big that it makes everything else seem pointless in it's wake... like school or grocery shopping or getting new shoes. those small things are all swallowed up into a undefined mess of daily tasks that must happen but seem to hold no joy or interest... but the hardest thing is getting past the feelings of powerlessness and anger at how this could have possibly happened. the even harder part is that she is my best friend and i know how she hurts and i know how i am impotent to help her. i don't know what to say or do... except to say that there is nothing i can do or say and there isn't a way this will be okay.

i will admit that i have been standoffish to my friends and to my boyfriend. i have had a hard time talking about it - my feelings, my fears and what it all means. i know that talking about these things supposedly makes it better but everytime i talk about it i feel like others are overwhelmed with the duty to say it will be okay and it won't. it can't ever be okay... maybe it won't be as bad but it's hard to believe that it will be okay.

and so it is with that knowledge... the knowledge of exactly where we are that i leave you. we are in unchartered territory - on a map of life. and it is just life. and it's terminal. and it works out okay in the end. and it's already tomorrow in australia. and i've been around the world looking for myself (the only woman-girl i know) and i've got to trust that above all things love endures.

and to dawnielle - even though you may start to like karaoke... "what heaven brought you and me cannot be forgotten" - we are family linked together through happiness and tragedy and "you understand why now (we) came this way" and i wouldn't have come any other way. i promise that if you need me i will always come. i'm sorry i cannot do more.

nick rallis and these united states save the day

my ip0d is sorely not me anymore. i hate it when that happens... when suddenly everything you listen to seems to just fit another person or another life. when all the songs remind you of how things used to be like something else or of someone else. suddenly it seems that you have outgrown yourself and you spend a few days wondering what you're going to listen to instead. in truth there is a whole lot of soul searching right before that point but the ip0d is where it's noticed... as if everything was fine until you just can't stand the music you used to love.

i have been on a quest for new things and new ideas... i've been combing hypem.com and every music blog i can find... it's tough going though... not everything is made for loving.

here are some things i have found...
Drag the River - Jeff Black Song

i fell in love with these united states again... specifically the song so high so low so wide so long...
i mean for real... i have a heart pounding sugar coated love thing for them.. like how i feel about mango ice cream. i don't even like ice cream... and yet i love it. i digress...



and if that's not enough to make your heart pitter patter and your face light up at the sheer genius then go here and watch them in the secret garden video:
Hoovesontheturf.com

the music search is probably temporary but while i'm in the throes of missing good tunes feel free to make your suggestions... i'm gettin' desperate here. which i suppose is indicative of more crucial things...

i guess it's something about getting your heart broken... i mean really broken. the kind of heart break that leaves you feeling sort of empty and wondering when it's not going to seem dark. the kind of heart break that only comes from realizing a friend that has been in your life for years has become the worst version of themselves. sometimes addiction and heartache break people and those people just can't honor the good things in their lives. they become thieves and liars. and initially i thought i could forgive it. forgive the theft and the lies. but i cannot. and i don't know what has me so in a funk... i guess simply the loss of the friendship. just in case you've been reading along these past few weeks and wonder what i'm on about lately... i've had to face that a friend is so addicted to their negative vices that he is not able to be anything but a liar. and it has broken my heart.

not like "that"... i have a boyfriend. i always have. we have been on again and off again for years. he's a really good boy. the best kind. he allows me to fall in love with bands and to have my own life - blogging and talking about all these obscure things, to raise my child, to be the person i want to be, to make mistakes, to succeed, to have male friends that break my heart. he supports me and sends me sweet text messages first thing in the morning. he writes me poetry, sings to me (well, he would if i asked him to and does spontaneously sometimes) and if i let him he would even make me banana pancakes. it's so strange that being loved by my best friends, my lover and my family doesn't change how crappy i feel about being betrayed. i suppose all i can continue to do is study for my calculus exam and then wrap myself up in my covers and listen to nick rallis. up loud.

loud enough that it doesn't matter that i found out last what everyone else seemed to know... drug addicts and alcoholics that don't want recovery cannot be saved no matter how much you love them. and while they are stubbornly un-recovered they are ticking time bombs waiting to go off and then lie to everyone to avoid taking responsibility. jameson anyone?

schools out for the summer

or indefinitely... i'm not sure on this one.

it's time that i had some space and time for some personal renovations. in being honest and hopeful about that i have to spend what energy i have on the direction i'm going... and well, it's not been tested by the fda yet so i can't say that it's fit for human consumption.

it's simultaneously a huge deal and not a big deal at all. i'm sure i'll be back blogging soon... in the meantime keep checking out these things:

cover lay down - the best music blog and insight into the relationship between the human soul and the love of music itself
hypem.com - the place to check out new tunes and listen to them online in their whole goodness
this american life - the most amazing thing in the world... true life... real life captured and perfectly painted over the course of an hour
radio lab - mr. science meets this american life... for insightful and intelligent goodness

additionally don't forget to love, save the world, be still and quiet sometimes and as abraham lincoln said..... "whatever you are, be a good one."

passport

i watched CNN today.

have you ever thought seriously about marrying someone from another country just so can have a different passport and then you didn't have to be associated with your own government?

i have.

i tried to find a quote or a picture here to justify these feelings but i got depressed looking. this is all i could find and i think it sums it up pretty accurately.



can i emigrate now?

i'm not even picky about to where.

look at what you've done...

if you take a moment and review today's news i think that you will see... you... the reader and the people that have spoken out for tibet and for justice and for righteousness.... you will see the reward for signing petitions and being resolute in the face of tyranny. i'll just say that today i am proud of what has been accomplished and i am hopeful that there is awareness... that there is openness to building a better world. i am grateful to see the House of Representatives speaking out against the chinese government. i am happy that people are finally beginning to see that the chinese government has not only oppressed it's own people, continued a regime of terror and genocide in tibet but ALSO supported the sudanese government in darfur... not to mention their disgraceful and disgusting human rights violations... (in case you were wondering it rivals the former government in iraq).

here are some clips of news from today:
"In Washington, meanwhile, the House of Representatives overwhelmingly passed a resolution criticising China's "disproportionate and extreme" response to protests in Tibet.

By 413 votes to one, the House called on China to release Tibetans imprisoned after peacefully demonstrating, and allow international monitors and journalists unfettered access to Tibetan areas of China." - BBC World News

or watch it here - a good overview of last night and today...

Olympic Torch Protest in San Francisco

although i have other things on my mind tonight they will have to wait... there are more important things than my own personal complaints about the life i have created for myself.

tonight the most important thing is that we are on the eve of the Olympic Torch protest in San Francisco.

you can view the BBC's footage of the protest in London here: Olympic Torch Protest in London

i ask humbly and simply that you really really think about the actions of the Chinese Government and their history of human rights violations. i remember very clearly the tiananmen square protests of 1989. we lived in hong kong then and it was a moment that i will never forget. some people know exactly where they were when jfk was killed or when elvis died. i'll never forget that footage and the knowledge that a government can oppress and erase whatever it is they see before them that they don't agree with. i suppose some people think that i'm just off on a tangent here... going on about what is pc or what is currently popular.... and i have ceased to try to be understood in this world. i have accepted that all i can do is use my words, heart and mind for good and let everyone else sort themselves out. keep my side of the street clean as my friend zach says.... sometimes thats the best a girl on the punk rock retirement plan can manage.

i wish i could more clearly express that i believe everything comes down to love. it's the basis of the universe. it is the basis of science, religion and of basic human instinct. love is the answer. it's in everything and causes everything. you can manifest whatever destiny you want... i'm choosing to manifest one based in love that asks for peace and harmony in the world, in the hearts of man and in our understanding. i am asking for these things simply because there is no other logical conclusion to come to.

tonight or tomorrow as you hold the things dear to you close remember that autonomy, democracy, freedom and free will come at price. you have the responsibility to use it for the good of the whole and to bring the universe to right. you have one job and it's to love - yourself, others and most importantly the global community and the planet. make a difference. change the world. do one small thing. use the voice you have been given. i promise that if you do it in love the harmony, peace and love will come back to you tenfold.

i leave you tonight with a simple prayer for peace for the world, health and comfort for His Holiness the Dalai Lama and for a peaceful protest tomorrow in San Francisco that reverberates through the american nation so loudly that we are moved to action on the global front.

May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending
one another.
May those who find themselves in trackless,
fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.

The Buddha

new music tuesday

cuz what else do you have to do on a tuesday? really... come'on... new music is fun. and maybe you'll find something that isn't on the radio that you love (gasp... really there is music that doesn't get played on the radio??? how will i know i like it if the pop station doesn't tell me to?)... just give it a try.

as always with new music they are quicktime links you'll have to right click on each one and then open in a new tab... it's fun i promise. start loving it.... right.... nooooowwww.... wait for it... okay go.

You Could Write A Book - Someone Stills Loves You Boris Yeltsin
Show Me the Season - Maserati
Guns of Navarone - Maritime - you'll have to download it here or check em out at www.hypem.com
Set Fire to the Third Bar - Snow Patrol ft. Martha Wainwright
The Audience In the Room - Dirty on Purpose (you know I fucking LOVE this band)
The Thing About Getaways - Dirty on Purpose
Golden - Bear Hands

all that goodness being said thats it for tonight.... the news today is that i have a new roommate, a new house and a newish life starting june 1st, i'm over 7th grade officially and i'm still really really bad at relationships. guess 4 out of 5 ain't bad.

oh and for extra goodness you should go to www.hypem.com and listen to linda ronstadt - willing. it could change your life. it totally changed mine... but not in the way you might think.... not in the literal way that could be applied as in i'm still willing but in the way that in the big picture and the huge universal scheme of things i'm still willing because in all fucking fairness that's what we're here for....

with my whole heart

i understand it's hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes... we're all guilty of that. i know that sometimes it's hard to understand the big picture of the world and the universe and all the opinions and voices and politics. i know that it seems difficult to start today and inform yourself when there is a long history of he said / she said between countries and leaders and religions.

i encourage you to find out about the atrocities that are being committed by the chinese government. i encourage you to understand that the plight for freedom in burma (or myanmar), in tibet and all over the world today. i encourage you to open your heart and understand that the suffering of few that you may not know or see affects how we view each other and treat each other.

i feel it necessary to express to you that i believe that the crimes against people by the chinese governement are serious enough that i literally have lost sleep over it in the past week. i wish that there was more i could do than sign petitions, be informed and use this small forum to express clearly where my heart lies. i wish there was more that i could do than boycott the 2008 olympics, the olympic sponsors and all souvenirs of the olympics. i wish that i had won the lottery a few weeks ago so i could spend those millions on changing this situation.... on changing the world but alas i am one person with my eye on the forest and the injustices and the climate of oppression that is filling the world.

with every particle of my being i want to impart this small piece of wisdom that i firmly believe: you must stand against injustice no matter how big or small. you must stand against oppression and against inhumanity. please if you do nothing else with your freedom and your tax rebate check please take the time to learn a little bit and make up your own mind - have any opinion you choose but please have an opinion.

in closing i give you this clip of His Holiness the Dalai Lama asking for a miracle. i ask that you in your prayers or thanks or thoughts or whatever it is that you believe in give a moment and ask the universe to bring peace to the people of Tibet in the coming weeks, to bring peace and well being to the Dalai Lama himself and to bring solace and comfort to those in need.

i know i promised

i know i promised there would be no breaks from blogging this year - i know i promised that i wouldn't miss a day... i know that integrity is doing what you said you would when it's no longer convienent. blah blah blah.
here is what else i know... although i reserve the right to discuss or ignore this topic as i see fit... there is someone - he is fabulous and i could enumerate all his great qualities but no one wants to read that blog - and it is something. it is good and brand new and ..... and i don't know what to say because for some reason i am only able to discuss these things in the past tense or in the hypothetical way that we discuss something that may or may not ever happen - like a ufo landing in my backyard.
i also know that there are unresolved readers... and i know that this may come as a surprise... and this may seem out of the norm for me... and i know that it is the first time i have ever written about something this new and in a positive way... and i know that usually i have all sorts of negative internal conversations about how things will be right back to the norm in just a few weeks... and i know that it seems difficult to believe that everything would change with one blog entry... perhaps you should also know that all choices made were made on their own merits... that he did not influence nor sway or alter the decisions i had already made... and i know that perhaps starting tomorrow there will be another collection of words about abstraction that will replace these and perhaps even it will seem like these are not as eloquent or as forceful next to the emotion that comes from impatience and frustration or from the immediate happiness in the moment but i know as you should that although they are plain looking and simple and quiet that they are more important than 90% of the shit i go on and on about here....

with all that being said i promise to go back tomorrow to being cynical and sarcastic and alternately flippant and so over exposed about embarrassing and hurtful moments that both you and i feel like we have shared something that is only ours. i promise that except for inside my own head or in morning emails that i will keep my sappy girl stuff to myself. and most of all i promise to keep my commitment to our little world here - the daily blog and the diaphanous explanations of who and what i am.

i'm goin' back to the start... a fairytale with a happy ending

tonight i'm going to do something i hardly ever do... i'm going to stop jumping to the conclusion and summary part of things. instead of writing about the lesson or the jewels of wisdom i'm going to go back in time and write about the actual past... i'm such a compartmentalizer that i forget that everyone doesn't have my brain and know all the old information.

first we're going to listen to this song and i mean listen to it and love it and then listen to it all over again. when i heard it tonight my stomach dropped and i fell in love with it immediately.



additionally you should go here: Cover Lay Down and read this music blog that i follow and hear some of the cover songs posted there.... you know how i feel about music and that the soundtrack we give ourselves really changes us and makes us what we are. i wish that people had external speakers that could play whatever we are thinking about... like the montage in movies where someone is walking or running and the song plays over the top... that is how i envision my life sometimes... the memories are there and i view them from a respectful distance (so not to get muddy, hurt or involved all over again) and i hear the music crest over the distasteful parts... music can always bring me right back there. a song can literally bring it all back.... right to the surface.

so once upon a time... (because that's how stories start around here)... there was this girl who lived all over the world. she traveled through most of southeast asia and moved almost every year. each time she started over again and made new friends (sort of). she never really got involved... it was just too messy and complicated and painful and things were sort of um... chaotic at home. (is that the nice way we say that?) so then when she is 15 she moves to this tiny town in arizona... which really isn't that tiny... and she has to begin to make friends with people - real friends that really know her. the problem is that there are so many versions of her, so many different places, so many imagined or real things that got fucked up along the way and somewhat important is the home life. the life we don't talk about even today. the parts we glaze over and we forget and we deny and we avoid.

so she set about making those friends and doing those things and creating that illusion of normalcy. i'll be honest here because i'm the narrator of this little fairy tale and sometimes the narrator gives that creepy voice over thing that gives the audience that glimpse into the future and real insight into what is "really" going on.... the truth is that it was an illusion period. full stop. end of sentence. the honest truth is that everything was so fucked up that it was a horrible front... it was the best she could do at 15 with the tools she had been given. so those years now seem so distant - literally and metaphorically. those years seem to not belong to her because the internal conversation went on a loop something like this:

everything is fine. smile and nod. it's fine. does anyone realize i'm on the fucking edge here? does anyone see what i see? do they know how fucked up everything in my life is? am i as fucking transparent as i feel? it's fine. everything is fine. smile and nod.

and that horrible front built on 15 year old knowledge and worn out coping tools looked something like confidence, anger, rebellion, alcoholism, hatred, violence, indifference, apathy and mostly it looked like a person that a fucking mess. and so the girl spent most of her time looking like it was all fine and doing shit that girls that are a fucking mess do... she dated boys that treated her as badly as she felt. she distanced herself from really knowing anyone. from really letting anyone in.

so about 3 years later when her grandfather died after the most recent relationship exploded into bits of fucked up ugly pieces that bad relationships explode into she looked around and realized that there wasn't anyone. they had no idea how she drove all night from that shitty little town just so that she could sit in his office and wear his old shirt and how four irish whiskey and waters into that night she realized that she was alone in the world. they didn't know that he had been such a big part of her that when he was buried she almost slept at the cemetery that night so he wouldn't be alone. when she drove home from that trip still reeling from the shock and pain that she packed her things and left that little town. she ran. she ran. in the next four years she moved frequently. to phoenix, los angeles, new york city, on tour and back to phoenix.

along the way she made more messes. she got herself into more messes. if we're all being honest here... she almost didn't make it... on more than one occasion. there was that night in california that we never speak of.... that black horrible indelible night. the three days after that where she didn't speak or really even acknowledge the world in general. the day of police questioning that revictimized a 24 year old girl that in all fairness didn't have the best coping skills. and the eight months that followed that she didn't eat, didn't sleep, had anxiety attacks, drank like she did when she was 17, took pills like they were candy and sometimes took too many just to feel like she could escape for a time into blackout sleep.

then came the most unlikely saviours. she got pregnant by accident (turns out pills are only 97% effective) most people would believe that this girl had no business raising another child. in fact people said it out loud... to her face... and still she knew somewhere inside her that this was the only thing big enough to get her to focus forwards instead of backwards. and so she became a mom. she had an amazing baby that changed her life and saved her from the self destruction she had been hell bent on. she went to a therapist. she stopped having the internal conversation that said she was beyond saving. she started telling herself that everything was going to work itself out. she started believing it. she found herself surrounded by friends that knew and understood her. she sought out people that would forgive who she had been and wait patiently by for her to become the person she could be. she grew up. she found love and hope and patience and confidence and happiness and it turns out that she had all the business in the world raising a child. in fact it's the first thing she didn't fail at. it's the first thing she didn't run from. it's the first thing she did with the focus forward on the light at the end of the tunnel.

i tell that story as the opening to this little blog entry:
this weekend i saw people from my past. from the darkness where now there is only light in my life. i learned that frustration and anger and disappointment from being a teenager has faded so much over time that it is simply a very distant montage of me growing and learning and changing doing the best i could do at the time. when the weekend was over i didn't want it to end. i felt like i had come home. full circle. and it was strange and wonderful. i am so grateful for that time. for that glimpse. for the perspective from here, the safe distance that i have achieved and the calm inside of me that comes from reflection, understanding and love. which comes the line in the song above... yes you are still supposed to be listening... "Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be so hard, I’m goin’ back to the start"

there is another part of all of this. another ugly part that is difficult to talk about in this open forum without worrying about how my words will be interpreted. i will say it this simply. although i wish i had the chance to communicate better, handle things differently and alter the outcome slightly i have no regrets. i am not going to start second guessing the path right now. i'm simply going to enjoy the scenery and know what i know today each day until it's time to cross a bridge.

how could i not go to bed grateful tonight? how could i not be happy? yes john... i'm writing my own happiness check... i'm the only one responsible for that.

a date to date

so i have a date. yes. a date. he's a boy i met at the gym. it's for tomorrow during the colts game. he's rooting for san diego. i figure i'm safe from making out cuz who could really respect and make out with any boy who likes the san diego chargers. it's strange to date. it's strange to have a date. it's strange to begin again with someone new who doesn't know all the old things about me. it's strange to feel as if i'm betraying the past and the old people by taking a risk on someone new. how do i honour what has already happened and still put all my energy into something new. how do i explain where everyone comes in and how they got here? how do i speak with respect, love and honour about all that have come before him when it's hard to respect, love and honour those that didn't offer that courtesy to me?

i'm tired of saying that they were all nice and that it was just bad timing. i'm tired of making excuses. i don't really want to start a new relationship with all those old layers of betrayal and deceit. perhaps this will be the first time i don't make the excuses. perhaps this will be the first time that i speak honestly about all that came before and why it is that they aren't here today... perhaps i'll leave behind the old words that avoid confrontation and speak frankly. perhaps we won't discuss it at all. perhaps i'll leave out all the boys that have failed before and just meet him at his place and watch the game and have a great time... perhaps for the first time in my life it doesn't fucking matter who or what came first. they've all became somewhat funny cautionary tales....
the boy that never ever wanted a commitment
the boy that thought i wasn't good enough
the boy that wanted me to be someone else
the boy that almost committed to me for a lifetime for lack of another option
the boy that never wanted what we ended up having
the boy that was married and used me because i was young and pretty
the boy that never really gave a shit and just liked the sex
the boy that controlled every move and then cheated because i couldn't be enough
the boy that liked me because i was 19
the boy that loved another girl and dated me because he thought i might put out

that's all of them. sad isn't it? the upside is that they all are in the past. i don't know if you've gotten the memo but i'm amazing and all of that is behind me. i'm not settling this time and i'm not compromising. anyone who has come before this point has had their chance and failed me.

i'm ready. i've had a paradigm shift and 2 weeks at the gym 2 - 3 hours a day. i'm totally ready.

the news... some op-ed pieces of my own

1. the world is my urinal?
A train driver in Berlin, Germany, apparently attempting to urinate out of a door at 70 mph, fell to his death (May). [Metro (London), 6-11-07]

2. sarcasm outing....
praise and sarcasm

3. uh... texas.... those guys are always weird...
new texas campaign

4. lastly... oh lastly... my favourite new prescription drug - mirapex for restless leg syndrome - which comes with the following potential drug side effects:

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION ABOUT MIRAPEX: MIRAPEX may cause you to fall asleep without any warning, even while doing normal daily activities such as driving. When taking MIRAPEX hallucinations may occur and sometimes you may feel dizzy, sweaty or nauseated upon standing up. Patients and caregivers should be informed that impulse control disorders/compulsive behaviors may occur while taking medicines

the commercials actually say that compulsive gambling, drug use or sexual behavior may affect users... wtf?? really? cuz restless legs seems a whole lot better than a drug habit... could just be me.