just to be clear

disambiguate

verb (used with object), -at⋅ed, -at⋅ing. to remove the ambiguity from; make unambiguous

disambiguation

noun

clarification that follows from the removal of ambiguity

unicorns are my favorite

am⋅big⋅u⋅ous

1.	open to or having several possible meanings or interpretations; equivocal: an ambiguous answer.

2.	Linguistics. (of an expression) exhibiting constructional homonymity; having two or more structural descriptions, as the sequence Flying planes can be dangerous.

3.	of doubtful or uncertain nature; difficult to comprehend, distinguish, or classify: a rock of ambiguous character.

4.

lacking clearness or definiteness; obscure; indistinct: an ambiguous shape; an ambiguous future. sometimes it seems in life that things don't get more clear... they get more blurred and more confused. i wish that there was a way to just understand... to make things in nice neat compartments with sealed lids and explanations. ambiguity isn't my favorite thing. unicorns however kind of are.

downright bizarre

okay, so i was looking for volunteer opportunities on craigslist and i found this other thing... this weird weird thing called missed connections... and there are posts... some are downright creepy, sad, bizarre and just... well effed up.... here are a few of my favorites...

You Have My Wedding Ring - m4w - 35 (Goodyear)

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Reply to: pers-923084859@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-11-17, 2:44PM MST


Jennie I meet you in BHC I knew you were in a relationship (Lee who you said spends way to much time on the internet) but I told you I was single. Well I'm
not and my wedding ring fell out of my pants in your living room. You have my #
so please call me "I need that ring back!!!" My wife (the one in the picture with me, I said was my sister is going to leave me if I dont have that ring back in a few days. It was her grandfathers wedding ring. Please If anyone knows Jennie who hangs out at west gate and dates an internet addict named Lee give her the message.

THE CHRISTMAS "PRESENT" - w4m - 46 (LV)

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Reply to: pers-960192183@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-12-16, 10:59AM MST



I'm not so sure as to the exact moment,
but I do know...that I've searched for that moment my whole life.

Life has a funny way when it sets us on a journey, we have so much preconceived in what we seek, only to find that "all" is not what we find at all.

I feel like I waited my whole life to find what you were to me; to feel what you made me feel; to care so much about you and beyond you.

I'm no longer sure that another man will ever matter in this lifetime.....you mattered the most in such a short time.

I believe the toughest journey for me ahead, is the lesson as to why we are now apart.

And now, at this ending, I understand that SOUL MATES do exist, and have further learned that they are just not always destined to be together within that same lifetime....

God knew what he was doing when we met.....we did not.

Perhaps another life, another Christmas....and we shall.....

G

To CW - So he finally moved back in..... - w4m (Paradise Valley)

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Reply to: pers-958655860@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-12-15, 9:39AM MST

CW
I know you have him back you used the kids because you knew that was the one thing that could get to him. It won't work - whatever was wrong before is still wrong. If you could have seen him before he left our home yesterday morning a broken man crying like a baby because of what he was doing to me - loving me so much but not being able to take the threat of not seeing his kids anymore. You know that when he has to leave again it will be worse on them next time...why couldn't you just let him be happy? He is my soulmate and I know we were meant to be together forever..i love him with all my heart and I know he loves me just as much. The most important thing for your kids is to be loved and have a great realtionship with 2 parents....living in a house where one parent doesn't want to be is not healthy for them and believe me they will know....

TW...you have my heart with you...it is yours forever....I'm not giving up on our dream.

K

RYAN!!!!!! - w4m - 28 (Squalor)

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Reply to: pers-953432811@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-12-10, 9:34PM MST


You are the most, stubborn and presumptive man I have ever loved.....the only man I have ever loved....silly monster....I know what you are thinking....you are wrong....so wrong....I am devoted to you, and only you. Hear me. Hear me. I hear you and I am waiting, patiently.

RYAN - w4m - 28 (Tucson)

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Reply to: pers-951558397@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-12-09, 2:11PM MST


I cannot express to you, enough, how much loss I feel. How devastated my body is. How my heart has been a roller coaster of hope and despair. I am so tired of the game. I cannot go on like this. I truly, love you. Enough to say goodbye, not goodnight. I love you and would come home if you wanted. I fear that all of my waiting has been in vain. I do not believe in faith, or the magic of the wishing shrine, or my altar of devotion, or my secret longings. There is nothing now. I am accepting you are never going to come back. I am alone. You are not here, and I do not believe you will ever arrive. I want to be far away from this place, from my walking path and exist in my dreams for you. I am hopelessly sad. Please stop the madness. I am ready. I miss you. I am pleading with you. For our future, and our now.

I thought you didn't eat McDonalds? - w4m - 21 (lost)

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Reply to: pers-956115991@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-12-13, 12:53AM MST


I keep hearing our song.

a commentary... not about you... just about that guy

the bouncing souls - true believer

Hypocrisy (or the state of being a hypocrite) is the act of preaching a certain belief, religion or way of life, but not, in fact, holding these same virtues oneself. Hypocrisy is frequently invoked as an accusation in many contexts.

For linguist and social analyst Noam Chomsky, hypocrisy, defined as the refusal to "...apply to ourselves the same standards we apply to others"^[1][2] is one of the central evils of our society--promoting injustices such as war^[3][4] and social inequalities in a framework of self-deception, which includes the notion that hypocrisy itself is a necessary or beneficial part of human behavior and society.^{[5] [6]}

In other languages, including French, a hypocrite is one who hides his intentions and true personality. This definition is different from that of the English language.

i think that's enough about that.... don't you?

the mulligan

from wikipedia: A mulligan, in a game, happens when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action. The term has found a broader acceptance in both general speech and other games, meaning any minor blunder which is allowed to pass unnoticed or without consequence. In both senses, it is implied that a mulligan is forgiven because it was either made by a rank beginner, or it is unusual and not indicative of the level of play or conduct expected of the person who made the mulligan. The word can also be used in instances outside of sports, in real-life situations. For example, it has been used commonly in relationships where a person messes up the relationship the first time around, then regrets the screw up, and wishes for a mulligan having realized how ridiculous the initial action was.

now... the important thing here is that life doesn't give many mulligans. it's just not the same as being forgiving. it relies heavily on the understanding that whatever happened was "unusual and not indicative of the level...(of)... conduct expected of the person". now in my life i am willing to be forgiving and to forgive and forget. that blanket forgiveness presupposes a few important things:

1. the person isn't simply an ass
2. the person has a redeeming quality beyond being an ass if they happen to be
3. that growth, change, respect, honour and integrity are possible in the relationship
4. that the person understands the value of the opportunity they have been given

based upon this little diatribe and this logical example i am choosing that in this game... the game we refer to as my life... that right now we're handing out mulligans. we simply aren't.

sorry. i know that's hard to hear, understand and accept. i understand the difficulty that comes from being asked to stand by actions and words that were thrown around without much thought. tough luck. this is what it has come down to. this is where we've gotten.

and i haven't arrived here in anger, fear or frustration. i've arrived here in honesty and self respect. i've decided what it is that i'm capable of putting up with and what i'm not. from where i sit right now the simple truth of the matter is that acting out like a child and then requesting a "do over" or a mulligan simply doesn't work. i don't have the energy and i don't have the patience or the understanding. i don't have the time or the mental capacity.

i know that this may come as a big shock... i know it may be uncomfortable and for that i am truly sorry. i feel badly. i really do. maybe after i've recovered from the blow of the irresponsible actions and the false things that were said about me i'll be able to let it go. right now i'm not able. i don't really know what else to say. except that attempts to provoke a reaction from me like the idiotic one today are laughable. i seriously laughed. if that's what is going to happen because i won't give you what you want - that you act like a petulant child then i think my decision is a great one. you're just giving me validation and affirmation and i thank you for challenging me enough to stand up for myself and stop being such a damn push over.

learning isn't easy. i don't ever expect that i'm going to be perfect. all i'm hoping for is that every night between now and my last one i am able to sleep as soundly as i will tonight. that perfect sleep that only comes with a clear conscience and a heart beating softly in the chest cavity to the rhythm of self respect.

word of the day... past blog entry

it's the oxford english dictionary word of the day and an awesome blog entry of mine from back in the day... go back and read it if you haven't had the pleasure.

Brit. /

psmn/, U.S. /prsm()n/

A. n.

1. The edible plumlike fruit of the North American tree Diospyros virginiana (the persimmon tree: see sense A. 2a), a large yellow or orange berry which is usually very astringent even when ripe but becomes sweet when softened by frost and almost rotten. Also: the similar but larger fruit of the Japanese tree D. kaki, which is much eaten in China and Japan and increasingly elsewhere.
The Sharon fruit is a form of the Japanese persimmon which can be eaten at a much earlier stage.

2. a. The tree Diospyros virginiana (family Ebenaceae) of the southern United States, which produces the persimmon fruit (more fully American persimmon). Also (more fully Japanese persimmon): the related tree D. kaki, a native of China and Japan which is increasingly grown elsewhere for its fruit; also called kaki.
Mexican persimmon: see Mexican persimmon n. at MEXICAN n. and adj. Special uses 1b.

b. The hard wood of a persimmon tree, esp. Diospyros virginiana, formerly used for making golf-club heads and loom shuttles.

3. The colour of persimmon fruit or wood; reddish orange; reddish brown.

B. adj. Of the colour of persimmon fruit or wood; reddish orange; reddish brown.

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PHRASES

P1. Chiefly U.S. colloq. and regional. to be a huckleberry to (also over) someone's persimmon: see HUCKLEBERRY n. 4.

P2. to pass one's persimmon: to be beyond one's comprehension or understanding. Also to be a jump above one's tallest persimmons.

P3. to shake down (also bring down, rake (up), walk off with) the persimmon(s): to win the prize, to pocket the winnings. Now rare.

P4. the longest pole knocks the persimmon (and variants): the best-placed or most able contender wins.

P5. that's (the ripe) persimmon: that's fine, that's ideal.

P6. it's no use taking four bites at a persimmon: a good opportunity must be seized promptly. rare.

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COMPOUNDS

C1. Chiefly U.S.

persimmon beer n.

persimmon bush n.

persimmon-coloured adj.

persimmon plum n. Obs.

persimmon pond n.

persimmon tree n.

persimmon wood n.

C2. persimmon-skin n. U.S. colloq. a person with persimmon-coloured skin; spec. (depreciative) a light-skinned black person.

faith

as a note for easter... which is tomorrow i give you this little journey into one of my favourite words. happy bunny day. may you find happiness in whatever traditions bring you closer to yourself and to your bliss.

Faith is a belief of truth or doctrine. As with trust, faith relies on the future, and is usually based in perception of past events. The major global religions are based on faith.

Faith can refer to a religion, or to belief in one or more deities. It has two general implications which can be implied either exclusively or mutually:

• To trust:
  • To commit oneself to act based on self experience to warrant belief, but without absolute proof.^[1] Mere belief on the basis of evidence is not faith. To have faith involves an act of will. For example, many people saw Blondin walk across the gorge below Niagara Falls on a tightrope, and believed (on the basis of the evidence of their own eyes) that he was capable of carrying a man on his back safely across. But only his manager Harry Colcord had enough faith to allow himself to be carried.
  • Believing a certain variable will act or has the potential to act a specific way despite the potential influence and probability of known or unknown change.
    • To have faith that one's spouse promise or commitment.
    • To have faith that the world will someday be peaceful.
    • To have faith that a person will pay you back.
    • To have faith that you will be alright despite adversity.
    • To have faith in one's full dependence on the will of supernatural forces or deities.
    • To have faith you will see someone again.
• A means to obtain something.
  • To have faith in a process. (Faith in the Law)
  • To have faith in a source or resource. (Faith your pay check or employment)
  • To have faith in a method to obtain. (work hard, lie, cheat, buy, trade, be attractive, etc.)
  • To have faith in the pathway to a specific desire. (The fastest way to a man's heart is his stomach.)
    • Faith is the development of pathways through doubt. With certain resistances to life, wishing to obtain more life force cause people to develop means and methods to overcome the resistance. For example: With the development of farming and grocery stores the ability to get necessary food has became easier, takes less time and allows for more living. Everyone still has to eat, but the means of obtainment has shifted. Our forefathers used to pray to God for a good crop, as that was part of their faith. Many farmers still do that, but now many pray that the paycheck hits the bank before the cable bill.
    • When something is wanted and there stands doubt between your current condition of need and the thing desired, systems of faith are employed. A person will first work existing pathways already established by faith. If they fail, they will seek to develop other pathways by faith, not knowing for sure if the path they pursue will provide the object they seek.

According to the Bible, "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1, New International Version).