i know i promised

i know i promised there would be no breaks from blogging this year - i know i promised that i wouldn't miss a day... i know that integrity is doing what you said you would when it's no longer convienent. blah blah blah.
here is what else i know... although i reserve the right to discuss or ignore this topic as i see fit... there is someone - he is fabulous and i could enumerate all his great qualities but no one wants to read that blog - and it is something. it is good and brand new and ..... and i don't know what to say because for some reason i am only able to discuss these things in the past tense or in the hypothetical way that we discuss something that may or may not ever happen - like a ufo landing in my backyard.
i also know that there are unresolved readers... and i know that this may come as a surprise... and this may seem out of the norm for me... and i know that it is the first time i have ever written about something this new and in a positive way... and i know that usually i have all sorts of negative internal conversations about how things will be right back to the norm in just a few weeks... and i know that it seems difficult to believe that everything would change with one blog entry... perhaps you should also know that all choices made were made on their own merits... that he did not influence nor sway or alter the decisions i had already made... and i know that perhaps starting tomorrow there will be another collection of words about abstraction that will replace these and perhaps even it will seem like these are not as eloquent or as forceful next to the emotion that comes from impatience and frustration or from the immediate happiness in the moment but i know as you should that although they are plain looking and simple and quiet that they are more important than 90% of the shit i go on and on about here....

with all that being said i promise to go back tomorrow to being cynical and sarcastic and alternately flippant and so over exposed about embarrassing and hurtful moments that both you and i feel like we have shared something that is only ours. i promise that except for inside my own head or in morning emails that i will keep my sappy girl stuff to myself. and most of all i promise to keep my commitment to our little world here - the daily blog and the diaphanous explanations of who and what i am.