clarification...

i rarely go back and explain myself... i rarely think i need to. i kinda figure that if people don't get it then they just don't get it and i'll be honest... i may be a little too okay with that. perhaps that's elitist or whatever... i don't mean it to be that way i'm just that far into what i'm saying... it is after all my blog and my wavelength and my life. for better or worse it's all mine.

but tonight when i checked my email i got a note that said my last blog sounded angry - no not the one about being sick but the one about chicken noodle soup for the crotch.... and so i'd like to spend a moment or two to extrapolate.

angry? no. it's contemplative and despite what it appears written in prose - i was actually quite proud of that, the rhyme and rhythym and rise and fall, it has a pattern of lines and of words and if i took the time to break it out as it should be viewed or as it formed in my head that might be more apparent. if you look around you might find that a lot of my writing has hidden little allusions to poetry in them. i also loved that it starts and ends with the same thought process. it's stream of consciousness writing about the struggle and conflict that comes with the dichotomy of loving someone and disliking them in the same moment. it's about regret born of choices before i was aware enough of myself to know about choices and regrets - because everything up until then had sort of happened to me... i had never happened to anyone or anything. it's about the grey area that hearts and minds and personalities get into when there are no black / white / lines delineated before us. it's about offering an olive branch of open communication using the last known method of viable communication tactics. it's about putting everything out there in the universe - the good, the bad and the emotionally raw in the earnest hope that somehow once everyone is on the same page that something positive can come from it.

so in response.... angry? no....

trust me. you'll know when i'm angry.