it might seem contrary

brothers on a hotel bed - death cab for cutie

it may seem contrary but i can say with absolute confidence that what i like about a relationship is... drum roll please... the end. not just the end but the time three months after everything is said and done where the other person does something stupid and ridiculous and you laugh aloud. it's such a relief to know that you made the right decision and that they are gone from your life.

some people might just for argument's sake say or insist that they like the beginning... where things are all cute and you have those shaky butterflies in your stomach and you exchange cutesy little stupid text messages.

or they may insist that it's the middle where things have calmed down and it has some false sense of psuedo security.

not me. no. i like the certainty and the clarity and the sheer finality of the ending. i like knowing that i can go back to living my life without wondering what they'll do or what it will be like 6 months from now or thinking about how you'll ever convince them to stop doing that annoying shit they do. i love the freedom and perfection of being myself again without the constraint of having to worry about another person. what delicious days without the pressure of someone else's needs and wants clouding everything that makes sense.

oh... i love my life, flaws, imperfections, wrinkles and all. i don't regret one day... there are some i'm not fond of and things that with hindsight i've realized were poorly done, poorly said and not thought through... but i still love what has brought me here to the cusp and clarity of a future that i chose... and i didn't even set a milk bomb off...