have you ever wondered if you got something fundamentally wrong in your life? like maybe there is a huge plan for everyone and somehow you got turned around on a path that had confusing signs and made a huge error in the interpretation of the signs?

for example i just found out that one of my long time friends and mentors (who i no longer speak to... it's just effing complicated) has the exact same name as a famous author and mentor who said "that there are always times of trauma and anxiety and crises of self confidence when you are building something and trying to bring about change and improve lives." i'll be honest... that advice might have been the advice all along... like what if i had the name right but was supposed to be friends with the famous author instead?

what if? just weird to think about all those little moments that might have been different if we had always known clearly what the signs said.... it's not about regret... it's more about thinking of things from a different perspective - contradictions cannot exist, if you find a contradiction, go back and check your premise.... for now i'm concentrating on the perspective that anxiety and crises of self confidence exist.. i'll get to the rest later.