journeys require emerson

Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old. - Emerson

despite the fact that i find myself lost in the forest of my life, despite that there are times where my woods are of my own making but no less bewildering and overwhelming than the foreign woods of some uncharted territory, despite the idea that sometimes i cannot see the forest for the trees.... despite these things and even in spite of them i find that i have a true north. my compass always works although my hands sometimes shake, my head sometimes questions my instincts and my body sometimes resists the next step. i have been blessed with a path, a way and a knowledge that within the parameters of this internal barometer i have safety and certainty.

there is also a safety net. it's a good thing for a girl of my age and of my past track record to have. it is a net sturdy safe and trustworthy. i have difficulty expressing my gratitude sometimes... even i struggle for the words that outline how i feel. how do you categorize or identify the swelling pounding deep breathing contentment that comes with safe harbour and with sanctuary? how can i explain in tangible sentences what it feels like to be able to dial a phone number and hear a voice - live or recorded - and share my joy / anger / sadness without fearing judgment or criticism? moreover how i can i put into a line or card how it feels to relieve my chest of that burden and feel all the more whole or sane for being able to really speak freely? can one ever express to another human what it feels like to receive love, respect, sympathy, honour and earnest whole listening?

i can tell you simply that it feels like fresh air swimming into my lungs past a swollen achy love filled heart. it feels as if my chest cannot expand to encompass the sensation.

when others wonder if they are worthy of such greatness... when others strive to understand how that perfection and love came into their lives... i sit and marvel at the gift i have been given. i know in those moments not only am i worthy but that the perfection in my presence is a star guiding me on my journey.

so i continue my message from yesterday... i am grateful. today is an affirmation that i have every reason to be grateful and content.


Whoever is open, loyal, true; of humane and affable demeanour; honourable himself, and in his judgement of others; faithful to his word as to law, and faithful alike to God and man....such a man is a true gentleman. - Emerson