as per my new "usual" i have added some music for your listening pleasure below... it is the shins - australia off of their new (new, amazing and brillant album) it should provide the soundtrack to the story that follows. just a hint for those that like to be up on all the "ins and outs" of these sort of things.... the music is nice to listen to, each is a song that i currently love and the LYRICS or the lyric meanings (or what the mean to me) often reexplain what i say in a more concrete way.... or less of a concrete way. perhaps i'm being too self indulgent. just start listening and reading and lets see how it all goes....
once upon a time there was a girl. really she wasn't a girl... she was in her early thirties but she liked to pretend as we all do that time wasn't aging her. in all honesty it's sort of silly when we all know how old she is but sometimes people do silly things in fairy tales. anyway there was this girl and she had baggage. not just one matching set but bags she had picked up from her travels and her adventures. it all kind of looked like luggage that you would find in thrift stores and on the corner. sometimes when you cart baggage around from place to place it starts to wear at the edges. so it wasn't pretty baggage and it wasn't new baggage.
in the spring of this year she met this great guy... we won't call him a prince because we hesitate to objectify males in such a way and weigh him down with such expectations as saving someone and riding a horse and other silly things. so she meets this guy and they find that they sort of, kind of like each other. well the truth is that the girl is never sure how the guy feels but she knows she is crazy about him. crazy about him in a way that doesn't make sense sometimes. she waits to see if he will call or if he will write. she reads everything he writes twice and she thinks about it... really thinks about it. he challenges her and makes her think about being the person she always thought she could be.
like any tale there is the part where the two have something that they have to overcome... i think it's called plot but we won't get all specific and technical here. so the girl realizes how she feels, she realizes that the guy is wonderful and suddenly... inexplicably she feels like she can't possibly make a real effort with what she has - the non-matching baggage and some deep rooted fears of commitment and if we're all being honest with each other we could say that she felt deeply that she needed some serious saving and in this day and age we can't expect a guy to do that kind of heavy lifted etc... not this guy anyway. to be absolutely frank with you... he's pretty much above such things. really he's great. so she (the girl) does something stupid and immature and selfish and just kind of disconnects. i know, i know. we're not judging her... we're just saying... com'on... and then the guy as anyone would do when faced with this sort of bullshit walks away and doesn't look back. (we call that move pulling the rip cord and it was entirely appropriate on his part).
then time passes... if you want to visualize it you can imagine a summer of long days and sunsets filled with green trees and glassy oceans then a move into a more mundane setting in the midwest with autumn making it's presence known. you can continue to imagine that the girl tries the best she can in this time passing montage thingy to sort herself out. save herself if you will... which is what girls these days do. she throws out some of her baggage. she faces some of it head on... those collisions weren't the prettiest. she gets over what she can and deals with what she can't. and all the time she thinks of him.
so here we are in the tale. and the girl has done what she can to sort herself out and the guy has run (again... with good reason). now the girl sends an email out there. she puts it out there the best she can and hopes against hope that it has a happy ending. doesn't everyone want to see the tale end happily? who wants an unhappy ending...
i suppose i'll have to keep you posted. i suppose we'll all have to see together how the tale ends. and the up side is that no matter what .... she got a clue and some much needed perspective. lessons learned and taken in to make changes for the better are never bad lessons... they may sting... they may become cautionary tales but they are to be respected and valued no matter what.
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