i want to say that today is fabulous. i've been on a new thing of leaving the negative and finding the positive in any situation. today has definitely been an opportunity to practice that.

i find that in being positive i feel guilty or bad for talking about things that are bothering me or things that are not positive. funny (funny? not funny!) that trying to feel good and find the good in every situation could make me feel bad... sometimes i even feel like i have no one to talk to or that the things that aren't good have to remain a secret. sometimes that feels almost lonely.. but i hate that word so perhaps i'll use isolated instead.

here is the positive side of everything:
1. i found that my judgments of situations and their discomfort for me was completely justified. i found that my instinct to avoid situations was absolutely correct. sometimes it feels nice to be right and to be able to affirm that our decisions are positive ones. i feel comfortable now proceeding to the consequence portion of those decisions... if x and y are true than z will happen. i have proven x and y to be true at least three times (which is all it takes in chemistry to make a law) and now i know for certain about z. i can move forward without feeling bad or guilty or looking back and reconsidering those decisions.
2. i had a long long conversation with my dear friend june last night and in that conversation we discussed the idea that i say things without thinking and that the result is that those things are misinterpreted. that idea is absolutely unfounded. i actually think about everything i say and most things that i believe have been well thought out. it is true that sometimes those words are not accepted or received as well as i would like them to be. i however believe in myself enough to know that i meet new ideas without judgment or anger and i expect the same from my friends. i feel absolutely confident in saying that although i am truly sorry for saying anything that would anger someone i am not sorry about being myself. it's funny (funny? not funny!) that the people that i respect the most and hold the most dear - accepting their ideas and quirks without question or judgment - are the ones that are the most quick to judge me and be angered by my questioning. i'm not sure how it's positive but i know that it means that i feel more confident being myself and also that